{"id":1701,"date":"2022-11-16T10:40:51","date_gmt":"2022-11-16T08:40:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.consult-psihologie.ro\/?p=1701"},"modified":"2022-11-16T10:40:51","modified_gmt":"2022-11-16T08:40:51","slug":"abuzatorul-verbal-un-pericol-pentu-relatia-voastra","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/consult-psihologie.olivian.ro\/index.php\/2022\/11\/16\/abuzatorul-verbal-un-pericol-pentu-relatia-voastra\/","title":{"rendered":"Abuzatorul Verbal. Un pericol pentu relatia voastra!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A nu fi preg\u0103tit s\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103se\u0219ti o rela\u021bie cre\u0219te adesea toleran\u021ba fa\u021b\u0103 de abuzul verbal, la fel ca \u0219i dependen\u021ba de agresor sau de rela\u021bia \u00een sine.
\nAdul\u021bii care au fost sau sunt abuza\u021bi verbal de c\u0103tre p\u0103rin\u021bi au cele mai multe dificult\u0103\u021bi \u00een a recunoa\u0219te c\u0103 au fost abuza\u021bi.
\nAbuzul verbal este un model de comportament con\u0219tient \u0219i foarte motivat; nu este niciodat\u0103 spontan \u0219i nu trebuie confunda\u0103 cu izbucniri de furie.<\/p>\n

Printre \u00eentreb\u0103rile pe care le adresez cititorilor se num\u0103r\u0103 \u0219i aceasta care apare des: \u201eDe ce mi-a luat at\u00e2t de mult s\u0103 recunosc c\u0103 am fost abuzat verbal? A fost aceasta orbire inten\u021bionat\u0103 sau altceva?\u201d Aceast\u0103 \u00eentrebare apare \u00een contextul rela\u021biilor cu o mare varietate de oameni, inclusiv p\u0103rin\u021bi abuzivi verbal, fra\u021bi, so\u021bi, iubi\u021bi, prieteni, colegi \u0219i \u0219efi.<\/p>\n

\u00cen cazul p\u0103rin\u021bilor abuzivi verbal, recunoa\u0219terea este adesea agonizant de lent\u0103, de obicei dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva decenii \u00een via\u021ba unui copil adult. Lentoarea recunoa\u0219terii pare s\u0103 depind\u0103 de normalizarea tratamentului p\u0103rin\u021bilor, a\u0219a cum fac majoritatea copiilor c\u00e2nd cresc \u00een preajma abuzului verbal; at\u00e2t b\u0103rba\u021bii, c\u00e2t \u0219i femeile cu care am discutat au adus scuze pentru p\u0103rin\u021bii lor sau au crezut c\u0103 \u201ea fost exact a\u0219a cum era el sau ea\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00cen cele mai multe cazuri, chiar dac\u0103 abuzul verbal a durut \u2013 indiferent dac\u0103 au fost ignora\u021bi, batjocori\u021bi, marginaliza\u021bi, hipercritica\u021bi sau \u021bap isp\u0103\u0219itor \u2013 ei credeau, de asemenea, c\u0103 p\u0103rintele a ac\u021bionat f\u0103r\u0103 r\u0103utate. Motivul pentru aceasta pare s\u0103 fie ceea ce eu numesc \u201econflictul central\u201d \u00een munca mea: remorcherul dintre a vedea abuzul \u0219i a dori ca rela\u021bia s\u0103 fie iubitoare, bun\u0103 \u0219i diferit\u0103. Speran\u021ba, ra\u021bionalizarea \u0219i negarea alimenteaz\u0103 aceast\u0103 dorin\u021b\u0103 \u2013 \u0219i moare de o moarte lent\u0103.<\/p>\n

Din p\u0103cate, oamenii care cresc \u00een preajma abuzului verbal par s\u0103 aib\u0103 mult mai multe \u0219anse dec\u00e2t persoanele care au un ata\u0219ament sigur \u2013 care au avut modele s\u0103n\u0103toase despre cum arat\u0103 rela\u021biile \u0219i au fost iubite \u0219i sus\u021binute \u00een copil\u0103rie \u2013 s\u0103 ajung\u0103 \u00een rela\u021bii adulte care includ abuz verbal. \u0218i, da, ei tind s\u0103 aduc\u0103 acelea\u0219i obiceiuri de normalizare \u0219i ra\u021bionalizare: \u201eA\u0219a este el\/ea, dar el\/ea vrea bine\u201d, \u201eEl\/ea crede \u00een vorbirea sincer\u0103 \u0219i dragostea dur\u0103, \u0219tii?\u201d \u0219i altele asemenea \u2014 la rela\u021biile lor adulte. Acestea fiind spuse, chiar \u0219i cei care cresc f\u0103r\u0103 abuz verbal pot fi prin\u0219i \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie care \u00eel include.<\/p>\n

Dar, \u00een timp ce anumite obiceiuri ale min\u021bii pot men\u021bine \u021binta abuzului verbal blocat, este important s\u0103 ne d\u0103m seama c\u0103 abuzatorul verbal este cel care depune toate eforturile pentru a men\u021bine controlul asupra celeilalte persoane. Abuzul verbal se refer\u0103 la un dezechilibru de putere, o persoan\u0103 av\u00e2nd mai mult control dec\u00e2t cealalt\u0103. \u00centr-o rela\u021bie de egali adev\u0103ra\u021bi, abuzul verbal tinde s\u0103 nu apar\u0103. (Eu fac distinc\u021bia \u00eentre o rela\u021bie care include un model consistent de abuz verbal \u0219i o explozie ocazional\u0103 \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie altfel s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 \u0219i respectuoas\u0103. Da, to\u021bi ne \u00eencruci\u0219\u0103m liniile \u00een momente de furie \u2013 \u0219i putem folosi tactici care sunt abuzive verbal, cum ar fi stonewalling). sau insulte \u2014 dar ne cerem \u0219i scuze. Abuzatorii verbali nu \u00ee\u0219i cer scuze cu adev\u0103rat dec\u00e2t dac\u0103 este \u00een contextul schimb\u0103rii vitezei; vezi mai jos.)<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Surse ale unui dezechilibru de putere<\/strong>
\nExist\u0103 multe surse, unele emo\u021bionale, altele materiale. Un partener poate fi mai dependent at\u00e2t de rela\u021bie, c\u00e2t \u0219i de iubit sau so\u021b; nivelurile lor de angajament pot fi, de asemenea, semnificativ diferite.<\/p>\n

Un dezechilibru de putere poate fi alimentat \u0219i de nesiguran\u021b\u0103; un partener poate fi \u00eengrijorat s\u0103 fie p\u0103r\u0103sit sau abandonat, de exemplu, sau s\u0103 simt\u0103 c\u0103, de\u0219i rela\u021bia nu este at\u00e2t de satisf\u0103c\u0103toare pe c\u00e2t \u0219i-ar dori, probabil c\u0103 nu exist\u0103 nimic mai bun acolo. Este important s\u0103 ne d\u0103m seama c\u0103, \u00een general, oamenii tind s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 pe loc, mai degrab\u0103 dec\u00e2t s\u0103 ri\u0219te necunoscutul; aceste observa\u021bii despre aversiunea de pierdere i-au adus psihologului Daniel Kahneman un premiu Nobel pentru economie. Adev\u0103rul este c\u0103 avem tendin\u021ba s\u0103 nu ne \u00eendrept\u0103m spre p\u0103\u0219uni presupus mai verzi.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd copiii fac parte dintr-o rela\u021bie abuziv\u0103 verbal, alegerile sunt mai grele \u0219i mai complexe.<\/p>\n

Desigur, un dezechilibru de putere poate avea de-a face \u0219i cu banii \u0219i puterea de c\u00e2\u0219tig \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie; abuzul verbal la locul de munc\u0103 este de obicei o situa\u021bie de sus \u00een jos, de exemplu.<\/p>\n

Cum \u00ee\u0219i men\u021bine controlul abuzatorul verbal:<\/strong>
\nAcestea sunt observa\u021bii anecdotice extrase din interviurile \u0219i cercet\u0103rile pe care le-am f\u0103cut pana acum.<\/p>\n

1. El sau ea te cunoa\u0219te bine.<\/strong>
\nDeoarece numele jocului este control, agresorul verbal \u0219tie toate lucrurile importante despre tine, care includ sl\u0103biciuni precum ceea ce te sperie cel mai mult, ceea ce te \u00eengrijorezi \u0219i te \u00eengrijorezi, \u00eempreun\u0103 cu cele mai profunde nesiguran\u021be ale tale. Asta \u00eei ofer\u0103 posibilitatea de a ap\u0103sa acele butoane atunci c\u00e2nd este nevoie. Dac\u0103 pozi\u021biile tale implicite sunt auto-\u00eenvinov\u0103\u021birea sau te sim\u021bi vinovat, el sau ea va face s\u0103 par\u0103 c\u0103 este vina ta c\u0103 e\u0219ti abuzat; afirma\u021bii precum \u201eDac\u0103 nu te-ai pl\u00e2nge mereu, nu ar trebui s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentorc\u201d (adic\u0103 schimbarea vinei) sau \u201eDac\u0103 e\u0219ti at\u00e2t de nefericit, de ce nu pleci?\u201d (asta este brimsmanship). Dac\u0103 te pl\u00e2ngi c\u0103 ai fost r\u0103nit, cel mai probabil \u021bi se va spune c\u0103 e\u0219ti \u201eprea sensibil\u201d \u0219i s-ar putea s\u0103 crezi asta.<\/p>\n

2. El sau ea poate schimba treptele dup\u0103 cum este necesar.<\/strong>
\nDac\u0103 re\u021bine\u021bi c\u0103 abuzatorul folose\u0219te ceea ce \u0219tie despre tine pentru a-\u021bi men\u021bine controlul, nu te va surprinde c\u0103 este bun la citirea reac\u021biilor tale. A\u0219adar, atunci c\u00e2nd o tactic\u0103 de manipulare e\u0219ueaz\u0103, abuzatorul se va \u00eentoarce la alta sau poate nu se va adresa deloc.
\nDa, oprirea abuzului verbal \u2013 poate s\u0103 te plimbe cu complimente sau s\u0103 faci ceva dulce sau pur \u0219i simplu s\u0103 nu te doboare \u2013 te \u021bine pe loc \u0219i te poate face s\u0103 te \u00eentrebi dac\u0103 exagerezi abuzul verbal sau c\u0103 poate e\u0219ti \u201eprea\u201d. sensibil.” Aceast\u0103 faz\u0103 de \u201elun\u0103 de miere\u201d este calculat\u0103, \u00een cazul \u00een care v\u0103 \u00eentreba\u021bi. Sunt \u0219anse mari ca speran\u021ba ta s\u0103 pretind\u0103 victoria asupra recunoa\u0219terii tale, iar un alt strat de lipici a fost aplicat \u00een lini\u0219te pe picioarele tale.<\/p>\n

3. Agresorul \u0219tie c\u0103 nu e\u0219ti preg\u0103tit s\u0103 te \u00eendrep\u021bi spre u\u0219\u0103.<\/strong>
\nAceast\u0103 parte este important\u0103 deoarece agresorul verbal \u0219tie c\u00e2nd s\u0103 \u00eemping\u0103 pedala p\u00e2n\u0103 la metal \u0219i c\u00e2nd s\u0103 se opreasc\u0103. La urma urmei, se bucur\u0103 de puterea care vine odat\u0103 cu dobor\u00e2rea ta \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i vor modera comportamentul \u00een consecin\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

Abuzul verbal este motivat \u0219i calculat.
\nEste important s\u0103 po\u021bi face distinc\u021bia \u00eentre o explozie de furie care poate include comentarii abuzive \u0219i un model consistent \u0219i repetat de abuz verbal. Chiar dac\u0103 obiectivele normalizeaz\u0103 \u0219i ra\u021bionalizeaz\u0103 adesea comportamentul abuzatorului \u2013 acest lucru este valabil mai ales \u00een cazul copiilor adul\u021bi care, la un anumit nivel, cred c\u0103 p\u0103rin\u021bii sau p\u0103rin\u021bii lor \u201enu pot ajuta la modul \u00een care ac\u021bioneaz\u0103\u201d \u2013 recunoa\u0219terea implic\u0103 s\u0103 vad\u0103 clar ce motiveaz\u0103 abuzul verbal.<\/p>\n

Simti ca esti abuzat verbal?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Te astept la o sedinta de psihoterapie<\/a> in cabinetul meu sau online din confortul casei tale!<\/p>\n

Poti face o programare aici!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A nu fi preg\u0103tit s\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103se\u0219ti o rela\u021bie cre\u0219te adesea toleran\u021ba fa\u021b\u0103 de abuzul verbal, la fel ca \u0219i dependen\u021ba de agresor sau de rela\u021bia \u00een sine. Adul\u021bii care au fost sau sunt abuza\u021bi verbal de c\u0103tre p\u0103rin\u021bi au cele mai multe dificult\u0103\u021bi \u00een a recunoa\u0219te c\u0103 au fost abuza\u021bi. Abuzul verbal este un model … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1703,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,41,35,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cuplu","category-noutati","category-psihologie","category-te-regasesti","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-33"],"yoast_head":"\nAbuzatorul Verbal. Un pericol pentu relatia voastra! - Cabinet Psiho Spiritual<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ro_RO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Abuzatorul Verbal. Un pericol pentu relatia voastra! - Cabinet Psiho Spiritual\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A nu fi preg\u0103tit s\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103se\u0219ti o rela\u021bie cre\u0219te adesea toleran\u021ba fa\u021b\u0103 de abuzul verbal, la fel ca \u0219i dependen\u021ba de agresor sau de rela\u021bia \u00een sine. Adul\u021bii care au fost sau sunt abuza\u021bi verbal de c\u0103tre p\u0103rin\u021bi au cele mai multe dificult\u0103\u021bi \u00een a recunoa\u0219te c\u0103 au fost abuza\u021bi. Abuzul verbal este un model ... 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